Those that know or me or are subscribed to this blog, know that I have had my fair share of doubts. I am the kind of person who leans towards despair and is burdened with a lot of intellectual activity. This is a recipe for regular existential crises! I even posted a short blog recently called ‘My Doubts’, outlining my struggles, which I subsequently deleted as I realised it was really too personal for the internet. I now feel like I’m in a place where I can patiently endure times of struggle or doubt. The Lord has always used those experiences as an opportunity to strengthen my commitment and free myself from particular anxieties. Like all struggles and sufferings, periods of doubt can be instruments for our salvation, and so should not be feared.
I dare not deign to give anyone advice about overcoming doubt, so I’m going to quote from an article written by Fr Jeremy McKemy of ‘Orthodox Road’. His advice summarises well the teachings of the Saints, and the advice of my own spiritual Father. I would encourage everyone to read the entire article (available here), but below is the relevant quote giving advice on how to overcome doubt and build faith instead;
Pursue prayer diligently – nothing infuriates the demons more than to see someone sincerely trying to pray. Our prayers may be meager, distracted, and pathetic most of the time, but slowly, ever so slowly, God begins the transformation within us.
Read the scriptures and the fathers daily – the former is the cornerstone of all Christian knowledge that leads to faith; the latter helps us to properly understand both scriptures and this spiritual struggle in which we are engaged.
Read the lives of the saints – a continuation of the above point, but there are a multitude of heroes who are brilliant examples of a beautiful faith lived out. A good place to start may be The Prologue of Ochrid.
Go to church and engage in the services – the Christian faith was never meant to be lived out alone. Even most of the desert dwelling hermits of ancient times (the Desert Fathers) lived in communities in which they would come together for services and meals at least twice a week (Saturday night and Sunday morning). The Lone Ranger may have been a lovely Western fairy tale, but it is deadly spiritual practice. Additionally, the words in our divine services contain some of the deepest, most beautiful and poetic theology you will ever hear.
This advice reflects the fact that the faith cannot merely sit in one’s intellect, it must be lived. If one doesn’t live the life in Christ, no amount of philosophising will stop doubts arising. I know this from my own experience all too well. As someone who struggles to get out of their head and actually do the things necessary for a saving relationship with God, I can attest to this truth.
Lord, I believe; help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)
NB: Everything expressed in this article is merely my opinion, and should not be taken as authoritative in any way. I am not a bishop, nor a saint, nor an academic, nor a spiritual father. If anything I say contradicts the teachings of your bishop, ignore me, and follow him. Additionally, all my articles are living documents, and so may be updated or refined over time, as I learn more, or discover better ways of articulating my points.